


In Too Deep

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Drama, Episode: s01e04 Five Votes Down, F/M, Missing Scene, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-09-09
Updated: 2000-09-09
Packaged: 2019-05-31 04:49:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15112118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Jenny decides to leave Leo





	In Too Deep

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

# In Too Deep

## By Kasey

 

This takes place in the middle of 1.04 (I can’t remember the name!) in which Jenny leaves Leo…It includes a song, which is what I do, and I love feedback…so read it, lemme know whatcha think!

 

Oh, and I don’t own TWW…bummer.

 

~*~*~*~

Leo slept fitfully.  The bed seemed so large and empty…so lonely.  He kept dreaming a memory, like he was reliving his entire history with jenny - starting with meeting at a restaurant in Boston and ending with her leaving that night, a suitcase in hand, a hideously expensive Harry Winston pearl choker around her neck.

 

"Is it more important than our marriage?" Her voice kept ringing in his head, like a tape player that wouldn’t stop.  She hadn’t understood his point.  He loved her like he’d never loved anyone, but he was the Chief of Staff to the most powerful man on the planet, for God’s sake!  It wasn’t a 9-5 job in a cubicle, things came up.  And it wasn’t things like a single memo which would affect a few hundred people, it was an incident or two which would result in changing a potential national law.  Didn’t anyone who worked outside of the West Wing understand that?

 

Of course not, he realized.  Anyone would have to see it to believe it, and even if they saw it and believed it, who cared?  It wouldn'’ make up for the wrongs he'’ done and the events he'd missed.

 

When had it changed? He wondered.  Inauguration?  Illinois Primary?  Sierra-Tucson?  

 

_All that time I was searching,_

_  
_

_Nowhere to run to_

_  
_

_Started me thinking._

_  
_

_Wondering what I could make of my life_

_  
_

_Who’d be waiting_

_  
_

_Asking all kinds of questions_

_  
_

_To myself_

_  
_

_But never finding the answer_

_  
_

_Crying at the top of my voice_

_  
_

_No one listening._

_  
_

_All this time_

_  
_

_I still remember everything you said_

_  
_

_There’s so much you promised_

_  
_

_How could I ever forget?_

 

Finally giving up on the idea of sleep around 6, Leo went downstairs into his empty kitchen and sat down at the table.  The "meal under silver" had been packed up by Ruth and placed in the fridge, the bottle of champagne sat in the tall hat on the counter, sitting in several inches of water.  The sight of it alone created another pang of sadness and regret.  For the first time in nearly seven years, he felt the instinct to just screw it all and get drunk, forget about it, make all the pain go away…

 

He made himself a cup of hot tea instead, not nearly as strong a drink as was needed when your wife left.

 

A single tear rolled down his cheek as he sat down again.  "Oh, Jenny, why now?" he whispered.

 

_So listen, listen to me_

_  
_

_You must believe me_

_  
_

_I can feel your eyes go through me_

_  
_

_And I don’t know why_

 

The phone rang, shaking Leo from his revery.  He walked to the living room and picked it up.  "Hello?" he asked in the most "in control" voice he could muster.

 

"Dad?  Did I wake you?"

 

"No, Baby, how are you?"

 

"Mom called," she replied, not needing to say more.

 

"Listen, Mal, she just got mad because I came home late and had forgotten our anniversary.  It’s happened before, it’s nothing -"

 

"She wants a divorce, Dad."

 

_I know you’re going but I can’t believe_

_  
_

_It’s the way you’re leaving_

_  
_

_It’s like we never knew each other at all_

_  
_

_It may be my fault._

_  
_

_Being alone when I didn’t want to_

_  
_

_I thought you’d always be there_

_  
_

_I almost believed you_

_  
_

_All this time_

_  
_

_I still remember everything you said._

_  
_

_There’s so much you promised_

_  
_

_How could I ever forget?_

 

His daughter’s words froze him through.  "She what?"

 

"You heard what I said," she replied gently.

 

"But I…when this happened before…I’d bring her gifts and grovel at her feet and it always -"

 

"Maybe she got tired of you buying her forgiveness."  Her tone was gentle, but the words pierced his heart.  "Look, Dad, I’ve gotta go get ready for school, I’ll call you at lunch."

 

"What time’s that?"

 

"Lunch and Recess is 12-12:45, plus then I have a free period…"

 

"Can I take you out to lunch, then?"

 

"Sure.  I’ll be at your office about quarter after noon?"

 

"Absolutely.  I’ll talk to you then, Baby."  Hanging up the phone, he fell back against the couch.

 

"You’re up early," a painfully familiar voice stated.

 

"Jenny!" Leo jumped to his feet as though the President had entered the room.  "That was Mal…"

 

"Yeah."

 

"You came back…" he said in a hopeful voice.

 

"I forgot my briefcase, Leo, that’s all."

 

_Listen, you know I love you_

_  
_

_But I just can’t take this_

_  
_

_You know I love you_

_  
_

_But I’m playing for keeps_

_  
_

_Although I need you_

_  
_

_I’m not gonna make this_

_  
_

_You know I love you_

_  
_

_But I’m in too deep._

_  
_

_  
_

_So listen, listen to me_

_  
_

_I can feel your eyes go through me._

 

Leo’s face fell.  "You’re just here…for…"

 

"Leo, please," she said gently.  "Don’t make this harder than it already is, any harder than it has to be."

 

"Can’t we fix this?"

 

"No, we can’t," she whispered, tears glistening in her eyes.

 

"But before -"

 

"It’s happened too much in the past.  And we can’t do this anymore.  **I** can’t do this anymore."

_  
_

_It seems I’ve spent too long_

_  
_

_Only thinking about myself_

_  
_

_Now I want to spend my life_

_  
_

_Just carin’ ‘bout somebody else._

 

"Does it mean we have to divorce, Jenny?  Maybe if we just…a trial separation?  I’ll move out awhile, then we can discuss this…"

 

"Maybe," she said as she picked up her briefcase, then walked out of the house - and Leo’s life.

 

_Listen, you know I love you_

_  
_

_But I just can’t take this_

_  
_

_You know I love you_

_  
_

_But I’m playing for keeps_

_  
_

_Although I need you_

_  
_

_I’m not gonna make this_

_  
_

_You know I want to_

_  
_

_But I’m in too deep…_

 

  

  


End file.
